Thankful, Grateful, Blessed
By Resna Marie Brunson, MSC
The sights, sounds, and smells of autumn are in the air. We can not escape fall decorations in our daily travels. This is also the time advertisers use their talent to persuade us to preoccupy our thoughts on the upcoming holidays. During this season, three words: thankful, grateful, and blessed are seen on mugs, candles, clothing, and home decor. As we say goodbye to summer and embrace fall we are encouraged by commercials, store catalogs, displays, and greeting cards to have our actions/words reflect thankfulness, gratitude and blessings. Despite numerous mementos, there are those who do not experience these emotions. On the contrary they may describe themselves as feeling thankless, pretentious, and depressed.
There are no “bad” feelings. Our feelings/thoughts/emotions in the moment should be accepted and validated. When we put feelings in good and bad categories it discourages people to be vulnerable and they do not feel safe enough to be fully transparent. A person experiencing discontentment may act jovial and upbeat while guarding their true feelings. Each person should have a space to express openly and honestly without judgment.
Because grief, hurt, disappointment, and sorrow do not pause for social events, there will likely be times when we feel unseen and alone. We do not want to appear apathetic so we may suppress what we are feeling inside. Here’s the thing… we can only put “so much in a container.” At some point the top will not fit. The feelings/emotions do not disappear when we push them down. The key is not necessarily to hide or get rid of them but to learn to manage them. Managing our emotions is embracing them in the moment. What am I thinking/feeling/doing right now that is causing me to feel ______. How often do I feel _____? What was I doing right before I felt this way? What am I anticipating? When do I feel_____? Daily? Weekly? Is this seasonal?
Processing in the moment helps to identify the triggers/causes. Our feelings are more manageable when triggers are reduced.
For some, sitting in the emotion is unbearable. The words thankful, grateful, blessed are triggers that precede much pain and sorrow. Having someone to help process and discover patterns may be helpful.
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